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In the process of working through the last 4+ years, it starts with educating myself about what went so wrong. The bottom line is being manipulated and emotionally controlled to a place of dependency beyond what I could ever imagine myself getting sucked into. Even when I started having warning signs keeping me up at night, there was still this feeling that I must be wrong. And I was wrong about that.
From the 1st article link below: “The cult leader is described as a charismatic and persuasive individual who possesses special knowledge that promises to elevate their followers to new levels of awareness or success.” So, while this wasn’t a religious or ‘social’ type cult, the methods used for ‘therapy’ fit very well into what cults do. This snuggles right into the doctrine formulated by the person I sought help from. She made up her own term for it. She used it as a selling point, and when desperate enough, it’s a much easier sell than one would imagine. There’s no way to describe how quickly this is ‘installed’ into the target’s mind. She knows all, and isn’t wrong, no mater what- that was clear fairly early on, but it was done gently at first. Taking control of food, limiting activity (that part can be valid and crucial), and dismissing any and all other forms of standard treatment were made very clear. I no longer had a say in what happened IF I wanted to get help from her.
Also from the first article linked below: The process of brainwashing- (My thoughts are in parentheses and italicized )
1. Keep the individual unaware that there is an agenda to control or change them. (It was supposed to be eating disorder ‘therapy’)
2. Control their social and physical environment, particularly by regulating time. (Time became a nightmare with no consistency of when contact would happen, if it happened at all after phone calls were planned).
3. Create a sense of powerlessness, fear, and dependency. (This was a core part of the grooming- food was controlled by her, and I had to promise only to eat what she said; foods I normally liked were not permitted, and even though I was thousands of miles and an ocean away; I was afraid to disappoint her, and the foods were kind of done in developmental stages, with the first bunch mostly not dependent on a full set of teeth, or one snaggle tooth, didn’t matter).
4. Implement a system of rewards, punishments, and experiences in such a way as to inhibit behavior that reflects the individual’s former social identity. (No consistency meant more confusion, fear, and doubting myself, when she was the one pulling the strings; she told me what I was good at with no input from me, and my former sense of humor and ability to laugh became tainted or non-existent because she wanted me to be funny; I have a sense of humor, but the idea of being a stand up comic? Nope- not when standing up hurts after 10 minutes, and with temperature intolerance, it’s not safe for me to be anywhere that I can’t control the thermostat- and she knew my joints were in horrible shape, and I keel over if I get too warm- over 65 degrees F, so pushing her agenda there until I confronted her).
5. Implement a system of rewards, punishments, and experiences in such a way as to promote learning of the group’s ideology or belief system and group-approved behaviors. (Yeah, I missed the ‘reward’ part of this nightmare, but I was also home alone, as well)
6. Create a closed system of logic and an authoritarian structure that cannot be changed by anyone other than the individual(s) in charge. (Bingo- this was the core philosophy and modus operandi).
From the 2nd article listed, I found some more “bullseye” information. Sadly, this is where others were used to continue the thought reform, through no fault of their own. They were being used, as they were at the former clinic. This allowed some distance from the messaging by the one in charge, and also (in theory) put some of the blame away from HQ. But, nothing happened without her OK. A ‘cult’ doesn’t have to be related to religion, though the leaders often put themselves on a level above the humans they target.
—“Cults also use peer pressure to control their members.” (I had a couple of buddies who were further along in the ‘program’ who were great. One went against the leader, voicing her concerns, and was vilified and bad-mouthed terribly by someone supposed to be the ‘parent’ figure, talking about one of her ‘kids’, and age didn’t matter- we were all ‘kids’, which kept her power reinforced for her own benefit).
— “Clients who have left coercive groups often describe a period where the group initially felt like the family or community they had always been searching for — the acceptance was immediate and unconditional. Recognizing that this initial warmth was itself a manipulation tactic is one of the most difficult aspects of recovery, because it means grieving a connection that felt genuinely meaningful at the time.” (This is a really hard one, and rings SO true to what i felt. I remember the moment when I realized it was all a scam to exploit vulnerable people who were desperate for help; the apathy on the other end of the messages caused a visceral feeling of my heart dropping; I knew it was over)..
–“…. individuals who are drawn to cults often have unresolved childhood trauma and a fragmented sense of self. These individuals may have experienced neglect, abuse, or other forms of trauma during their formative years, leading to deep-seated feelings of shame and self-doubt. Cult leaders exploit this vulnerability by offering a false sense of security and belonging. They present themselves as powerful and charismatic figures who can provide the love, acceptance, and validation that these individuals crave. By manipulating their followers’ emotions and beliefs, cult leaders reinforce their grandiose self-image while further undermining their sense of self.” ( all of the prior trauma was reinforced multiple times over, and.undermining the sense of self, and exploitation are what I’m left with- there literally was no ‘therapy’, and contact was inconsistent, so the original shame from trauma was reinforced, not healed).
I’m still learning, and hopefully that will allow me to get to the point I was at prior to all of this. It wasn’t perfect by a long shot, but it wasn’t based on dependency, or being exploited both as someone on a fixed income and disabled as well as a ‘typical’ patient, who is vulnerable, and desperate for help. In the US, it’s a crime to exploit vulnerable populations, but I don’t have the resources to pursue anything, nor do I want to be tangled up with all of that any longer.. There are places to report information, but none look very promising because of the international angle as well as no credentials with a licensing board..
My objective is to warn others. Vet anyone you get help from. . In order to be a ‘friend’ she had to see my Facebook content. This isn’t about her. It’s about the ones who have to recover from therapy trauma and whatever they sought help for.
1 https://www.humanrightsresearch.org/post/cults-the-exploitation-and-abuse-of-vulnerable-individuals
2 https://davenportpsychology.com/2024/02/12/understanding-the-manipulative-tactics-of-cults
3.. English translation (via Google) about Isabella Heineken and Peggy Claude-Pierre : https://www-24heures-ch.translate.goog/anorexie-un-fille-heineken-sous-lemprise-dune-guerisseuse-603161106967?_x_tr_sl=auto&_x_tr_tl=en&_x_tr_hl=en&_x_tr_pto=wapp