AtypicallyRecovering

My therapist doesn’t believe in letting people with psychological disorders “opt out”… and that’s not the only thing I’m dealing with (eating disorder). I have so many chronic medical conditions, several with significant dietary restrictions that have to be monitored, and I don’t see a way to get away from “numbers” when I have to know protein, sodium, purines, and carbohydrates to manage 3 of the conditions. I also need to know my weight to determine a diuretic dose. I don’t want to know any of this. I’m tired of it. I want peace. I want some time when I can just know that it’s not going to be long. Death isn’t the goal. Relief is. The degree of pain (physical and emotional) is getting to be more than I can handle when I feel like I’m adrift in an angry ocean on a leaking life raft.

I was a fool to think I’d get well.