Category: Eating Disorder Recovery ‘Alone’
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That Time When I Wondered Why I’m Still Alive
Image: general online search; not my image. Today is one of “those days” when everything seems to trigger a round of crying. I’m struggling physically with food and fluid intake, which makes everything else worse. I’m super protective of any sleep I get. Most people with eating disorders have some…
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Online Eating Disorder Recovery Help
Image- general online search I started looking into online eating disorder support options a couple of years ago when it seemed that my therapist was only a part time social contact person, and then only when it was convenient for her. I didn’t expect constant contact, but wasn’t even getting…
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Have I Gotten Anything Right Yet?
Photo: mine It’s been nearly a year since things with my former eating disorder ‘therapist’ went far enough down the tubes to feel like therapy, such as it was, was over. Nobody had asked about my intake for a couple of years, so it seemed like it didn’t really matter…
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I Don’t Know How To “Just Eat” Without Shame
Photo: Mine For something that most people never think about, food is a ‘threat’ in my head. I know it’s irrational, and I know how I’d tell someone else to view food, weight, etc- but in my head, the rules for me are different. A lot of this likely started…
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February Update 2026: Working on Moving Forward
Photo- mine. I’m still a long way from where I was in 2021 when this current relapse started, but without the external pressure from P along with her general absence most of the time, at least I don’t feel like I have to follow her orthorexic food rules that go…
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Perspective From The Past
Photo- mine (single footprint on dry riverbed in Kerrville, TX) Something that helped me during my 1995 relapse was a gratitude journal, which sounded ridiculous at the time, but I gave it a shot. It was free (minus the notebook and pen), and couldn’t do any harm. I had nothing to…
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Tired Of Waking Up In This Body, But Can’t Get Weight Off
Photo- mine I’m not suicidal, so don’t alert the online mind police. There’s a difference between wanting to die and being tired of this excuse of a life. I’m in the latter category. I’ve spent the last 22 years on disability, and it’s just getting to be a tiresome and…
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Well, I Tried Not Tracking Every Thing I Ate
Photo- mine Well, I tried a week of not tracking everything, and had NO idea if I was getting enough calories in. I was tracking carbs, protein, and sodium. But I didn’t know if it was getting enough calories. My internal calorie calculator said no… I wasn’t eating enough. So,…
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What Kind Of Parents Restrict Food From Their Kid?
Image- Shutterstock royalty free In general, my folks were good people. They weren’t perfect, but they weren’t psychos by a long shot. My dad was a great dad, but when it came to appearances, I had to buck up. Mom was broken and tried her best. I think she did…
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Struggling Without The NG Tube For Fluids
Photo- mine Except for a month and a few odd days here and there, I had a NG tube to ensure enough fluid intake to protect my kidneys for the last 41 months, changing it out every 4-6 weeks as needed. It was only supposed to be in for the…
