Category: Trauma
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It Started Out Pretty Well Before the Breadcrumbing
Photo- mine, turkey tail mushrooms I have to be fair about how ‘therapy’ was – not just the bad ending. It started out well. I wasn’t in good shape, after not eating solid food for about a week, and in the middle of ’round 2′ in 2 years of losing…
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Grieving Hope of Recovery With Ex-Therapist
Photo- mine It might sound weird to grieve for something that never happened. But I’d dreamed of getting well with someone who seemed to have figured out how to get the eating disorder voice to go quiet for good. She has helped a lot of people, but it seems that…
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When Bingeing Is Self-Preservation: Extreme Hunger
Image- Texas Monthly issue on BBQ (not sure which restaurant this is from) For those who don’t understand the body’s primary goal of keeping us alive, bingeing might not make a lot of sense. But when someone has been restricting for any period of time, if the body senses that…
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When ‘Self-Worth’ Therapist Seems To See Me As Disposable
Photo- mine A big part of the eating disorder therapy with my now ex-therapist was based on increasing self worth. There were a lot of terms of endearment and declarations that I was loved. But words are really, really cheap when they’re not followed up with actions. I feel even…
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Figuring Out Little Steps To Quiet the Eating Disorder “Voice”
PHOTO- mine; window in the kitchen at my childhood home. Designed by Tom Heflin and made by Frank Hautkamp It is so hard to justify eating when I see what is in the mirror. Logically, I know that food is fuel, but for as long as I can remember, it…
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Why Did It Take So Long To Get Out of A Therapy Relationship That Wasn’t Working ?
Photo- mine I’ve written about it taking nearly 3 years before I ended therapy with my online eating disorder therapist AFTER I felt something ‘off’. It’s been so difficult to leave- partly because I’m out $33K USD, and am not much better off than I was when I started- so…
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Trauma and Eating Disorders
Photo: mine- it was the only footprint in the dry river bed… where did it come from? There are plenty of articles and videos about the impact of trauma on the development of eating disorders. The attack on self-worth goes deep. For some, ‘disappearing’ is a response to unwanted contact…
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YouTube Comments About Peggy Claude-Pierre
Photo- mine I have been looking up online/YouTube eating disorder recovery videos and articles. One person who has gotten both good and bad reviews is Peggy Claude-Pierre. I’ve read other things online, and it seems that the overall view is that she brings a lot of controversy. I think it’s…
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Doing The Opposite Of What My ‘Head’ Says
Photo: Mine, lychees This is so hard. I’ve never known “normal” eating, and now have the Ex-T’s “food rules” to undo as well. The entire idea of restrictive eating disorder therapy to undo the restrictive eating disorder is NOT to have food rules (other than those I have to deal…
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Why I Became A R.N.
Image: Online search results, cropped When I was at university, I was studying to become a teacher. Both of my parents were in education, and while they never pushed me in that direction, they were pleased. But then, I ended up getting booted out for anorexia and the overdose, and…
