Category: Personal Experience
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I’m So Tired Of All Of This; It’s Hard To Eat In This Body
Image- general online search I don’t know how to do this. There is no interest in food- and not just my eating disorder ‘head’. Physically, nothing sounds good. I have stuff here that I “should” like, but there’s no interest in eating it. I’ve been forcing food that seems “normal”…
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When Therapists Cause Way More Harm Than They Help
Image: Adobe Royalty-free stock images It’s hard to even comprehend how someone who is supposed to be a therapist can treat people like street garbage when they know their history of previous trauma. It’s having someone find out what will hurt the most, and then do that. In the 20…
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Figuring Out Food Intake With Volume Issues
Photo: Adobe Stock I’m working on a way to get enough protein in, as well as more fruits and veggies. When I eat protein (generally dairy of some kind), it has to be OK for my kidneys and gout. That means meat, poultry, and fish/seafood are very limited. Spirulina, a…
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Growing Up With A Therapy Stigma… and Then I Was Shipped to The Psych Joint
Photo- online general search. When I was shipped off to the nut house at 18, my mom was horrified. She thought for sure they’d turn me into some kind of cult member. I’m glad I was able to see the value in therapy when I left home- and had NO…
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That Time When I Wondered Why I’m Still Alive
Image: general online search; not my image. Today is one of “those days” when everything seems to trigger a round of crying. I’m struggling physically with food and fluid intake, which makes everything else worse. I’m super protective of any sleep I get. Most people with eating disorders have some…
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Online Eating Disorder Recovery Help
Image- general online search I started looking into online eating disorder support options a couple of years ago when it seemed that my therapist was only a part time social contact person, and then only when it was convenient for her. I didn’t expect constant contact, but wasn’t even getting…
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Have I Gotten Anything Right Yet?
Photo: mine It’s been nearly a year since things with my former eating disorder ‘therapist’ went far enough down the tubes to feel like therapy, such as it was, was over. Nobody had asked about my intake for a couple of years, so it seemed like it didn’t really matter…
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I Don’t Know How To “Just Eat” Without Shame
Photo: Mine For something that most people never think about, food is a ‘threat’ in my head. I know it’s irrational, and I know how I’d tell someone else to view food, weight, etc- but in my head, the rules for me are different. A lot of this likely started…
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February Update 2026: Working on Moving Forward
Photo- mine. I’m still a long way from where I was in 2021 when this current relapse started, but without the external pressure from P along with her general absence most of the time, at least I don’t feel like I have to follow her orthorexic food rules that go…
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Perspective From The Past
Photo- mine (single footprint on dry riverbed in Kerrville, TX) Something that helped me during my 1995 relapse was a gratitude journal, which sounded ridiculous at the time, but I gave it a shot. It was free (minus the notebook and pen), and couldn’t do any harm. I had nothing to…
