Category: Eating Disorder Recovery ‘Alone’
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February Update 2026: Working on Moving Forward
Photo- mine. I’m still a long way from where I was in 2021 when this current relapse started, but without the external pressure from P along with her general absence most of the time, at least I don’t feel like I have to follow her orthorexic food rules that go…
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Perspective From The Past
Photo- mine (single footprint on dry riverbed in Kerrville, TX) Something that helped me during my 1995 relapse was a gratitude journal, which sounded ridiculous at the time, but I gave it a shot. It was free (minus the notebook and pen), and couldn’t do any harm. I had nothing to…
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Tired Of Waking Up In This Body, But Can’t Get Weight Off
Photo- mine I’m not suicidal, so don’t alert the online mind police. There’s a difference between wanting to die and being tired of this excuse of a life. I’m in the latter category. I’ve spent the last 22 years on disability, and it’s just getting to be a tiresome and…
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Well, I Tried Not Tracking Every Thing I Ate
Photo- mine Well, I tried a week of not tracking everything, and had NO idea if I was getting enough calories in. I was tracking carbs, protein, and sodium. But I didn’t know if it was getting enough calories. My internal calorie calculator said no… I wasn’t eating enough. So,…
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What Kind Of Parents Restrict Food From Their Kid?
Image- Shutterstock royalty free In general, my folks were good people. They weren’t perfect, but they weren’t psychos by a long shot. My dad was a great dad, but when it came to appearances, I had to buck up. Mom was broken and tried her best. I think she did…
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Struggling Without The NG Tube For Fluids
Photo- mine Except for a month and a few odd days here and there, I had a NG tube to ensure enough fluid intake to protect my kidneys for the last 41 months, changing it out every 4-6 weeks as needed. It was only supposed to be in for the…
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It’s Been A ‘Bleh’ Couple Of Weeks
Image- online search The past couple of weeks have been exhausting for no good reason. My activity level essentially never changes with being housebound, but I’ve not felt great. With the colon cancer screening fails, that’s a bit unnerving, but the main areas of discomfort aren’t located in the iffy…
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Getting My Spiritual Life In Order
Photo- mine I’m not a ‘religioius’ person. Organized religion has become associated with hate, and I can’t ‘do’ that. I was raised in a church way back when they were still fairly inert when it came to discussing social issues. I had a good experience at church during my entire…
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Waves of Grief and Anger
Photo: Mine Even though I fully understand that the manipulation and emotional control measures used by my ex-therapist is her pathological shit, it still deeply impacted me. She doesn’t seem to feel remorse about much, and sent me a message saying she hoped i didn’t turn all of the crap…
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Birthdays With An Eating Disorder
Photo- mine Birthdays (or any holiday or gatherings around food) are painful for people with eating disorders. I’d hoped to do better this year, but fell short. The ‘plan’ was to order something I wanted without regards to the nutritional information (calories and macros in particular), but it didn’t quite…
